Why "I Need To Talk To You When I Get Home" Should Be Eliminated From Your Vocabulary

   In my late teens, sections of the Teen Magazine that I loved the best were the quizzes. I enjoyed sorting through the multiple choice questions to discover all types of things about myself. One thing I explored was the extremely important concept of timing in a relationship. Take the opportunity of reading this article so as to explore your need for that ‘timing’!!

Imagine that you’ve had an extremely rough day and on top of everything, the traffic on your way home was terrible. You walk in the door ready to drop your keys, take off your coat, and relax. All you want to do is sit down on the sofa. Just as you put your arm on the armrest, your partner is standing there, ready to tear into you about something you did. You are exhausted, stressed, and now you are headed into an argument.

Communicating how you are feeling is extremely important in a relationship. But it is equally as important to have the right timing. Every person walks in the door and needs a certain amount of time to relax and cool down from their day. Some people need fifteen minutes, some need thirty, and others may need more than an hour. Choosing the wrong time to talk to someone may compromise the way they hear you or how they understand your feelings.

   Although there is no way to determine that magical moment to discuss an important topic with someone, there are definitely moments that are better than others. Often, we search for the best opportunity or the best timing for us, instead of the best moment for the other person or for the conversation.

A lot of times, we know that the timing is not right for a specific conversation, so we say, “I’d like to talk to you about something. Let’s discuss it later.” But think back to when you were in elementary school. Just before class begins, your teacher walks over to you and whispers in your ear, “Please see me after class. I need to talk to you.” With all of the questions churning in your head, you can bet that your teacher will not have your full attention in class.

   Years ago, I had an issue that I wanted to discuss with my mother. I called her up when she was in a meeting. I knew that it wasn’t appropriate to have a conversation while we were both busy. So I simply said, “When you get off, please call me because I have something that I would like to talk to you about.” At 5:05 pm, five minutes after she got off, my phone was ringing. She wanted to know what I had to say.

I learned that what I said to her was the catalyst for changing her day from good to bad. She spent almost every single minute at work thinking about what I wanted to talk to her about. What did she do? Did something happen to her? Is she ok? When we finished talking, she asked me not to call her with a concern unless I was ready to talk about it right then and there.

   Telling someone that you need to talk to them later is unsettling and stressful. If you are unable to address an issue that is on your mind, save the other individual from unnecessary anxiety and don’t bring it up until you are ready to discuss it.

   Timing is equally important as effective communication. While there is no perfect time to discuss an issue or dilemma, there are times that are more opportune than others. Ensure that your significant other knows how much cool down time you require when you walk in the house, what time of the day is best for capturing your attention, and what scenario would be less than ideal for you to address a serious issue. Make sure that you are clear on their needs as well. And if a problem or issue arises, present it at the best possible time for both of you, not when it first comes up.

What it means to be Loved!

          I feel elated. I’ll never be alone. Immaterial of whatever I do or say, I’ll have someone who would be there for me... Always. Someone, who will make an ordinary moment seem magical. One, who would care for me more than anybody else. The person who will drop everything to be with me at any time no matter what the circumstances. Someone who will entertain me when I'm bored, crack jokes for me when I'm sad, try all that is possible to just make me feel at ease. Someone who will be my companion in happiness and a shareholder of my grief.
          I feel so grateful to have someone like that in my life. Not many have the blessing to have someone who loves you so selflessly, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. A person who makes sure that no misunderstanding ruins the bond. But I am fortunate. I am loved. I don't think I'll be able to love anyone back in the same way, ever...

To be deeply loved means a consent to cut yourself wide open, exposing your vulnerabilities... hopes, hurts, fears and flaws. Hiding behind the highlight reel, of who you are, is the real you! And that person is just as worthy of love. There is nothing more terrifying or fulfilling than complete love, it's worth the risk... reach for it.

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          Everyone wants to be the jewel in the crown! Everybody wishes to be loved. All of us yearn to be pampered. We crave for affection. Not many have their wish granted. And those who do, often don't realize it's real worth. Such relationships are taken for granted. We often think that no matter what we say or behave, he will never let the relationship fall apart. This is one of the biggest delusions. 
          Everything in life has to have a balance. If this balance is disturbed too often, the relationship is in jeopardy. We have to acknowledge the true worth of such a person and try to reciprocate whatever we can, whenever we can. The one thing that we can never give enough is Love. It takes a beautiful soul and a priceless heart to love someone so deeply and if you have one, treasure it. Wake up and realize its real worth before it slips away from your hands.

Live every moment, Love every day, because before you know it, precious time slips away.....

Distance Sucks

          I had butterflies in my stomach. It was almost as if we were meeting for the first time. I was ready an hour before the actual set time. He always says that I look good in black, so I wore a Black outfit. Everything was pre-planned; I did not want to mess up things at the last moment. I saw him after almost a year. He used to send me his pictures, but today, I had him 'live' before my eyes. After so long, I heard him calling me all those mushy names, I was able to hold his hand. The distance which was in miles had then been cut off to meters, temporarily though. I made the most of my time with him. I used this time to create wonderful memories; memories that would help me survive without him long after he is gone.

          Time without him doesn't pass by that easily. I feel disheartened whenever I see couples walking hand-in-hand all around me. I wish to be one of them. Without him, I can sense this vacuum all the time. This emptiness consumes me.

We are a Perfect couple; we are just not in the Perfect situation.

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          Thanks to the ever advancing technology, the number of Long Distance relationships have increased manifold. Facebook, Twitter, E-Mails and other social sites connect people across borders and oceans. It is so easy to fall in love with someone who is miles apart. But the tough part is to 'stay' in love even after you realize the fact that he won't be beside you always. He won't be there to console you. He won't be able to take you to Movies or Parties. The anticipated number of dates would decrease manifold. You will not be able to hug him each day in order to let him know how much you love him. You will not be able to feel his presence around you, and the sense of security that comes along with it.

          There will be fights, heated arguments and insecurities involved. But once you manage to get through them, the relationship will be on the right track. Distance means so less when someone means so much.

Missing someone gets easier day by day. Because even if you are one day farther to the last time you saw him, You are a day closer to the next time you will.

Have Never Been SO SINGLE…!!!!

I always thought that I was independent. I never needed any kind of emotional or moral support. I had my friends and family. There was no need for 'The One'. I was contended by the way my life was going. I always believed I would be able to manage without a relationship. I didn't want to get into the complications of one. I gravely doubted if my parents would ever approve of me being in a relationship. So, staying single was the best option I had. I decided to stick to the Just Friends tag and not go any further. It was all going smooth.

But eventually, all my friends entered into relationships. Their experiences made me feel out of place. The support, care, affection and Love which their respective relationships offered them made me long for one too. Soon, I could feel my inner resolve shaking. I wanted a relationship. Today, as I look back, it amazes me how much my attitude towards relationships has changed. Being Single is no longer something that I can do. I need to fill this empty space in my life, the sooner the better.

 There's got to be a 'meant to be' for me out there somewhere, someday I'm gonna find someone somehow, someway.

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Being Single isn't an easy task in today's world. Peer Pressure being the main culprit. Your friends may not force you into a relationship, but unknowingly, they make you crave for one. When you see the people around you talking about their relationships, the ups and downs involved, those sweet little arguments, those gifts and all the other stuff, you want to be a part of them too. 

But then that does not mean that you rush into a relationship, without considering the consequences. When it has to happen, it will happen. No matter what, you should never give in to your weakness and compromise with your self-respect. What is the point of entering into a relationship only to regret it later? Why not wait a little more? Maybe what you get is even better, or The Best!!

On the other side, being Single isn't that bad as well. You may feel out of place at times, but otherwise you are better off than your counterparts. While they are busy going through the emotional roller coaster of breakups and patch-ups, you sit back and enjoy being yourself. So, don't force love to happen, don't try to Make it happen, it never will. Just wait for the Perfect Moment, the Perfect Person, and the Perfect Love that will lead you to a Perfect Life.

I wanna fall in love… I wanna feel that rush… Which runs into my heart shaking up my soul, the feeling I've never felt before...

The Haunting Past

It was as if we were always meant to be together. When I met him, I realized how it feels to be with that special someone. He made me realize the worth of love. Life with him was perfect. We had a clear picture of our future right in front of our eyes. I started thinking that life was perfect. I was sure that our relationship was flawless. We decided that now that we were so sure of our relationship, there should be no secrets between us. This was a turning point in our relationship. The 'No Secrets' deal revealed certain things about his past which I was earlier unaware of.

This was not a very pleasant experience. He had a hell of a past. I never knew. I always thought that as long as our future was clear, knowing the past was of no use. It was only when things were presented in front of me, that I realized the actual situation. Although I never show it, his past haunts me till date. It makes me insecure. I became aware of the actual reason of his over-protective behavior. His past had shattered him, but at the same time it had hardened him from the inside. It is kind of hard to get these images from his past out of my mind. I still love him the way I used to. But there are times when I regret knowing about his past. 

We both deny it, but if we look close into each other’s eyes, we know our love is different. We know we have a future full of feelings that were left behind by us in our past.

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All of us have our own story, our own experiences and our own past. Some hold good records, while for others it was a new lesson to learn. For others, our past is just a story like that of a daily soap. There are a very few people who are actually affected by our past. They are the people who are with us in our present. Think of it in the other way, if you come to know about the not-so-likable past of your partner. What would be your reaction? What if this revelation intensely affects you at an emotional level? What if it makes you question the very existence of your relationship? 

It leaves you with not many options. Option one, you can ignore your partner's past and move on with the relationship. After all, if the present is satisfying, you can easily overlook the past. Option two, understand your partner's feelings and instead of holding him responsible, sympathize with them. It takes a strong emotional resolve to do so. Promise them that you will never let them go through the same ever again. The last and the most selfish option, sacrifice your present for the sake of your partner's past. Walk away and leave them alone to face the same emotional turmoil again. My personal advice to you is, choose from the first two. Completely ignore the last one. 

You never realize what kind of love you have, until you almost walk away from it and come back to find that it’s may be way too late.

I Miss The Old Him

 

  We had a fairy-tale beginning, almost. Things were perfect back then. There was love, there was commitment, and there was trust. Our relationship was nearly perfect in all means. He used to be concerned about me, gave importance to whatever I said. He made me feel like an essential part of his life. Things were great. And I only anticipated that they would get better with time. I overlooked the darker side.
  But as time passed, he seemed to have changed. He is now a very different version of what he earlier was. He is in no way similar to the guy that I fell for. He is no more the same person. His priorities seem to have changed as well. We argue more and talk less. On some days, I feel that I am being taken for granted. While on others, I wonder if he has lost interest in me. I cannot prevent these baseless thoughts from crowding my mind. This behavior of his makes me derive all sorts of conclusions about the future of our relationship. Whenever I try and bring up this topic, he casually ignores the topic and walks away. Is he bored? Is there nothing left in this relationship? Has the love faded away? 
  There are so many questions and not many answers. I would do all that it takes to set things right, provided he wants me to. I want to revive the lost love yet again. I wish to go back to those good old days when all was well. When all that mattered was US. 

As soon as you get too comfortable, that's when things fall apart.

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  Amidst all these young relationships, the concept of true, undying love has ceased to exist. There could be a multiple reasons to it. Are we too immature to know the true worth of relationships? Do we get bored of dating the same person? Are we yet to understand the concept of being with each other through thick and thin? Or probably, when we know we are loved by someone, we take that person for granted. On the other side of this change, lies the victim. The person who gives all that he/she has to revive the relationship. A person who has spent hours wondering what went wrong. 
  If you have even the tiniest of doubts about anything in young relationship, talk it out. For the suspense kills the other person. If you say you want to be with someone, stick to it. You may think your girl is over-reacting, but this isn't the actual picture. She can sense that the relationship is degrading, and she is concerned. She gave all her time and emotions to this commitment because she always thought that it would last. Explain your reasons to her, tell her what actually went wrong and you will see how she sets things right at once. Realize what you have before it slips away from your hands.

Stop pretending that things are more complicated than they are! You either love someone or you don’t, so stop hanging on to them.

Soul Sisters

 

  I always thought that I was one of a kind. There was no one like me. My habits, my behaviour and my way of handling things were unique. This made me feel out of place at times. I secretly wished that I had a twin sister. Someone who would know how things are for me. Someone who would understand why I am the way I am. Then I met her. She was just an acquaintance at first. As time passed, I got to know stuff about her. We shared our experiences, our opinions and our thoughts. It was amazing how we turned out to be so similar. We had a lot in common. 
  We had the same preferences, the same opinions regarding certain things. It was so good to finally meet someone like me. Although we weren't related, she was no less than a sister to me. We were soul sisters. The striking similarities between us caused me to give away this title to her. She is one person with whom I can share things that can't very shared by anyone else. This is because I know she sees things from a similar perspective. She knows how and why I judge certain things. I love her company. I adore her personality. Maybe because she's a lot like me. Or even better.

What's the good in news if you don’t have someone to share it with?

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  There lies some truth in the saying that Opposites Attract. But that does not mean that people run away from those who are similar to them. It is always a pleasure to find someone who is like you in many ways. Everyone needs such company. Everyone needs someone who knows how the world appears through their eyes. It was always good to have someone who has the same interests, the same way of life, and the same mentality as you. You can always discuss what you have in mind, because mostly you both will find yourself at the same path. There are certain things about you which no one may understand, but this person does. Probably because she's been through the same. Such a person will know what is to be said to put you in the right mood.
  You may not be related to this person actually, but you hold them close to your heart. They are a reflection of what you are or what you want to be. There are so many things that you can learn from them. So many things that you can teach them. Such a person has answers to all the unexplained questions that spring up in your mind. It is always a blessing to have someone who is so similar to you in your life.

A Soul Sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - A special kind of double.