When he's still in love with his ex!!

First of all, he’ll assure you that he is over her. But the truth is that he’ll never be able to forgive her for crushing his heart into tiny little pieces. And then, you’ll try to prove yourself that he can’t still be in love with someone who left him like that. Somewhere deep down, you know that you are better for him, better than her and he knows that too. So, you plunge into each other, both hoping that this new amour will help him forget about her.

You guys will have fun together. You’ll go on dates and laugh and meet each other’s friends and of course, you’ll get drunk. And then, you’ll think that possibly, just mayhap, this could work out the way you wanted. But the only time he’ll get even close to divulge or open up to you is when he is drunk or high, and even then, he only lets you in superficially.

You’ll start wanting more of him. You knew you would have to wait for him to come around, but days have passed and everything is still phony; something just doesn’t seem right. It yearns to heal his broken heart. You thought he’d be ready to move on by now, but he’s just not. The times her name comes up unlikely in a conversation, you see the passing pang of pain flutter in his eyes. His hurt hurts you. What hurts furthermore, is to know that he wants to be over her as badly as you do, but something just keeps him clinging on. She’ll always be the one that "mattered the most".

His emotional distance makes you hold your ground even harder as you resist the fact that this man is so close to being yours—that probably if you guys had met at a different time or place or universe, things might’ve been different. All you want to be is adequate, but you will never be adequate because YOU WILL NEVER BE HER. And it won’t matter how good of a person you are, or how attuned you are, or how well you treat him or how good a company you are to him, he’ll never love you the way he loves her.

So, after what feels like a lifetime of persistent efforts of trying to conquest over this man’s heart, it’ll finally set-in and you’ll start accepting the reality: he is still in love with his ex-girlfriend, and you cannot change that. Yes, it’ll hurt. You will punch yourself a thousand times for trying to mend his shattered heart, for getting involved with him when you should’ve known better.

Maybe he’ll get back with her someday and they’ll live happily ever after… Or maybe he’ll move on from her on his own terms in a few weeks’ time or maybe months… and maybe you will then get one more chance with him when the timing is finally right.

As they say, the two most important things you need for love: chemistry and timing.

But TIMING is a BITCH!!

Why "I Need To Talk To You When I Get Home" Should Be Eliminated From Your Vocabulary

   In my late teens, sections of the Teen Magazine that I loved the best were the quizzes. I enjoyed sorting through the multiple choice questions to discover all types of things about myself. One thing I explored was the extremely important concept of timing in a relationship. Take the opportunity of reading this article so as to explore your need for that ‘timing’!!

Imagine that you’ve had an extremely rough day and on top of everything, the traffic on your way home was terrible. You walk in the door ready to drop your keys, take off your coat, and relax. All you want to do is sit down on the sofa. Just as you put your arm on the armrest, your partner is standing there, ready to tear into you about something you did. You are exhausted, stressed, and now you are headed into an argument.

Communicating how you are feeling is extremely important in a relationship. But it is equally as important to have the right timing. Every person walks in the door and needs a certain amount of time to relax and cool down from their day. Some people need fifteen minutes, some need thirty, and others may need more than an hour. Choosing the wrong time to talk to someone may compromise the way they hear you or how they understand your feelings.

   Although there is no way to determine that magical moment to discuss an important topic with someone, there are definitely moments that are better than others. Often, we search for the best opportunity or the best timing for us, instead of the best moment for the other person or for the conversation.

A lot of times, we know that the timing is not right for a specific conversation, so we say, “I’d like to talk to you about something. Let’s discuss it later.” But think back to when you were in elementary school. Just before class begins, your teacher walks over to you and whispers in your ear, “Please see me after class. I need to talk to you.” With all of the questions churning in your head, you can bet that your teacher will not have your full attention in class.

   Years ago, I had an issue that I wanted to discuss with my mother. I called her up when she was in a meeting. I knew that it wasn’t appropriate to have a conversation while we were both busy. So I simply said, “When you get off, please call me because I have something that I would like to talk to you about.” At 5:05 pm, five minutes after she got off, my phone was ringing. She wanted to know what I had to say.

I learned that what I said to her was the catalyst for changing her day from good to bad. She spent almost every single minute at work thinking about what I wanted to talk to her about. What did she do? Did something happen to her? Is she ok? When we finished talking, she asked me not to call her with a concern unless I was ready to talk about it right then and there.

   Telling someone that you need to talk to them later is unsettling and stressful. If you are unable to address an issue that is on your mind, save the other individual from unnecessary anxiety and don’t bring it up until you are ready to discuss it.

   Timing is equally important as effective communication. While there is no perfect time to discuss an issue or dilemma, there are times that are more opportune than others. Ensure that your significant other knows how much cool down time you require when you walk in the house, what time of the day is best for capturing your attention, and what scenario would be less than ideal for you to address a serious issue. Make sure that you are clear on their needs as well. And if a problem or issue arises, present it at the best possible time for both of you, not when it first comes up.